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August 20, 2013


Great insights! From my experience in LGBT activism, too, there's a need for involvement at all points on that spectrum across the bottom. The window of what's possible can shift really quickly if the assault on 'what is' comes from a broad range of folks--as shown by the successful 15 year push we are wrapping up for marriage equality (in 1998 it was impossible, today's it's inevitable, and that'

To achieve that, we had to expand who was included in the "we" (straight people get to play!), accept doctrinal differences (I'm for marriage because it's easier for my kid; others are for equality because of a principle, not the practical), and be ruthless in action but gentle with each other.

There also had to be an agreed upon goal, and that's where I see activism for adoption reform having a challenge. Is the goal an end to unethical adoption? Unnecessary adoption? All adoption? Again, there's a lot to learn from the recent successes of the LGBT rights movement there. And this is getting long for a comment...

I guess my dream for adoption reform is that adoptees, APs and first families can line up to push, recognizing that we all have something to offer.

Terrific comments Alex and thank you for your thoughts. I think that your comment about the challenge of having a shared goal is so true and it's tough in application to adoption because people really disagree and there are, as in other groups, differing opinions. Even something that to me seems like a total no-brainer, like dismantling sealed records and OBC, is not uniformly shared among adoptees, first/birth parents and adoptive parents. There is a long way to go.

been there, done that. did the whole Korean adoptee gathering in Seoul. Participated in the mini gatherings in nyc. Did the whole Korean adoptee summer camp thing. Quit all together cuz i never found it really satisfying. Seriously, i think ppl assume just because you put adoptees all together your suppose to automatically connect. THat really isn't the case. But just cuz i never got anything from it, I am aware that others do... so in my mind while i think these events are still good to have. It totally isnt for me.

Here's a particular rant i have I am reminded of. Happened quite a while ago... but I was suppose to participate in a meet up in nyc one time. A gathering of adoptees out to dinner w/ some organization. Apparently I had been the only one that showed interest. I had gone all the way into the city and the leader of the event ended up emailing me the last minute to tell me it was cancelled all together cuz no one else showed interest. Needless to say, I ended up feeling offended. The one person that had showed interest, I wasn't important enough. In my mind, these events are like popularity contests. The more ppl that participate, the more exposure an event gets, the greater it is - it all feeling very cliquish to me. Which is cool. cuz i guess when it comes to building my own inner circle of ppl whom i deem as most important to me, i guess i can be cliquish like that too. Not including everyone in.

well, just wanted to say all that. first paragraph caught my attention. glad i'm not the only one who never got into the whole korean adoptee social events too. Yeah, we're not all the same like that...

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