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March 26, 2013


Thank you for so clearly conveying your message.

I really appreciate the complexity and honesty of your outlook. Thank you.

Thanks for this clear, rational and wise post. The same either/or black and white mentality afflicts birth parents and adoptive parents as well. If you are not anti-adoption and keeping all children with biological family, you are accused of being an adoption promoter. There is no possibility of a middle ground. It is very discouraging and the attacks wear you down, and also reflect badly on adoption reform as any sort of unified movement.

I'm not anywhere near past the place where I can process adoption outside of my own situation, but I absolutely see the "both/and" in my own life. Adoption was the right option for both of my families when I was born. And. It is one of the major psychological issues that I've dealt with in my life. It is both a defining part of my identity and a major point of contention.

I can be upset about aspect of the system and happy with my life, respectful and loving of both of my mothers and often annoyed as hell at the comments and insistences of the world outside adoption.

Thanks for the post -- it takes me outside my one particular situation in a way that still relates to the many things I'm thinking and working through.

Absolutely agree with both/and and also agree its easier to take all or nothing sides on an issue. I don't understand why it's so impossible to convince those who choose to do so that it affects their credibility which allows their audience to tune the message right out. Maybe the fact that it's easier is the simple explanation. I appreciate your post, thanks for it.

Great post. There's a tendency for folks on one side to defensively say, "Adoption is great, wonderful, and God's perfect plan for lots of people's lives." On another side, folks say out of their pain, "Adoption is evil." But in the middle would be a thought that adoption is a means by which families are created and good can be brought out of very difficult situations.

As an adoption social worker - I have to acknowledge that my bills are paid through adoption. And yet, at the same time, I'm not doing this for the money. I work because I do need to earn a living, but I choose to do this work because it calls to me.

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