Several folks on my facebook feed this past week linked to The Race Card Project that was created by journalist Michele Norris. For The Race Card Project, people are encouraged to describe their experience of race using only six words. The submissions are powerful and heartbreaking and uplifting. I read through several pages of them and found myself at times nodding my head in affirmation and sometimes surprised (in both good and bad ways) by what was submitted.
Norris' The Race Card Project is not the first "Six Word" idea. I've participated in a local one for my city and neighborhood, and the first one I heard about was the Smith Six-Word memoirs.
It made me think that maybe it would be interesting to have an adoption version of the Six Word Project.
So here it goes - what would be your six word description of adoption from your experience? Please put them in the comments.
I'll start it off with what I submitted for The Race Card Project because it sums it up my thoughts about adoption and race simlilarly.
I AM NOT YOUR CHARITY PROJECT.
Ok, your turn.
My kids aren't lucky, I am!
Posted by: Sandy | March 14, 2013 at 09:36 AM
I'm tired of existing outside boundaries.
Posted by: Susan | March 14, 2013 at 09:57 AM
Daily thoughts, monthly skypes, yearly visits
Posted by: Mary Dell | March 14, 2013 at 10:32 AM
Yes, they are "my own" children.
Posted by: Tom Jankowski | March 14, 2013 at 11:17 AM
Sitting in paradox right along with him.
(with credit to Jane Jeong Trenka)
Posted by: Psychobabbler | March 14, 2013 at 12:11 PM
Oops, extra word in there.
Sitting in paradox along with him.
Posted by: Psychobabbler | March 14, 2013 at 12:13 PM
Legitimate half orphan bastardized by adoption.
Posted by: legitmatebastard | March 14, 2013 at 12:14 PM
I don't fit in anywhere. Ever.
Posted by: another adoptee | March 14, 2013 at 12:43 PM
No child should ever be abandoned.
(This was one I submitted a few years ago to the Minneapolis 6-word project)
Posted by: JaeRan | March 14, 2013 at 01:10 PM
Forever between, the total me unseen.
Posted by: Karen Pickell | March 14, 2013 at 01:31 PM
It's messy, but I have family.
Posted by: A | March 14, 2013 at 01:33 PM
This has been on my mind for the past few days, so ...
I reject rejection. I exist. Deal.
Posted by: Laura Dennis | March 14, 2013 at 01:58 PM
Two mothers,one love; grief,joy
Posted by: C. Clark | March 14, 2013 at 03:15 PM
1. Happiness at the expense of adoptees?
2. Happiness at the expense of birthparents?
From an anonymous adoptive parent (posted with permission)
Posted by: JaeRan | March 14, 2013 at 03:16 PM
During graduate school, I worked as a research assistant where I interviewed adopted children and their parents. One child's response (which happens to be six words) has stuck with me many years later. The young child explained adoption like this.
"It's living where you don't belong."
Posted by: Martha S | March 14, 2013 at 03:16 PM
No more unicorns. Human rights violations!
Posted by: Heewon | March 14, 2013 at 05:06 PM
Open adoptees' original birth certificates NOW!
Posted by: Sara | March 14, 2013 at 05:23 PM
Children do not stay children forever.
Posted by: Kev Minh | March 14, 2013 at 08:24 PM
My broken family breaks me daily.
Posted by: Carol | March 14, 2013 at 09:45 PM
Post adoption, don't forget about us.
Adapt adoption policy as adoption changes.
Posted by: Amanda | March 14, 2013 at 10:31 PM
They bought me into their dysfunction.
Posted by: Jaye | March 15, 2013 at 08:28 AM
Responses from my twitter request #6wordadoption:
My daughter is entitled to anger - amydcubbage aka madmommamoogacat
Walk with me on this journey - mumdrah
Navigating the knife edge of dilemma - mumdrah
Sacrifice. Hurt. Blessings. Amazing. Friendships. Love. - lauragbutler
Legitimate half orphan bastardized by adoption - forbidden family
More family,support,love changing perspective - RandomMusing23
Surreal, but I remain me throughout - mscathyanne
Not an orphan, didn't need saving. (My son, but I can't cram that in.)- kallistimn
Two crazy families instead of one? - nicolecallahan
Posted by: JaeRan | March 15, 2013 at 12:34 PM
Love takes work. It's worth it!
Posted by: Shannon LC Cate | March 15, 2013 at 12:43 PM
Jamal Salim got more than Coke-a-colas
For love or for love of controling
Posted by: Maebekimchee | March 15, 2013 at 12:52 PM
I didn't need them to redeem me
Posted by: Julie | March 15, 2013 at 12:58 PM
Separation was not a onetime event.
Posted by: MotherdaughterB | March 15, 2013 at 12:59 PM
Adoption should be a last resort.
Posted by: LSH | March 15, 2013 at 01:08 PM
Listen, love will NEVER be enough!
Posted by: Ethiopian Adoptee | March 15, 2013 at 01:09 PM
This body colonized by white people.
Posted by: K-6714 | March 15, 2013 at 01:10 PM
anonymous six word. . . from adoptee in 30 year reunion
Never Good Enough. No REAL Family.
can't resist -
I Exist. Fuck Off Prudish Abandoners.
Posted by: Anonymous | March 15, 2013 at 01:11 PM
Listen! Adoptees are screaming their truth.
Posted by: Rebecca Ricardo | March 15, 2013 at 01:15 PM
I wish I knew his scent.
Posted by: susiebook | March 15, 2013 at 01:46 PM
I made a tragic, permanent decision.
She should be living with us.
Crisis thinking = poor permanent decision making.
Posted by: LisaAnne | March 15, 2013 at 02:14 PM
Pain in ALL sides of adoption
Posted by: Debbie B | March 15, 2013 at 02:22 PM
Listen to adoptees and update laws!
Posted by: Susan Perry | March 15, 2013 at 02:36 PM
Secrecy in adoption pains the soul
Posted by: Susan Perry | March 15, 2013 at 02:45 PM
Falsified birth certificate means always adopted
Posted by: Julie S. | March 15, 2013 at 02:53 PM
my heart yearns for her daily
Posted by: Melissa Schmidt | March 15, 2013 at 03:14 PM
Thought I was fine. Now what?
Posted by: Matthew Salesses | March 15, 2013 at 03:27 PM
You are the best mother ever.
Posted by: Mikki | March 15, 2013 at 03:45 PM
Savior experiment that went terribly wrong
Posted by: NanIe Yi | March 15, 2013 at 04:36 PM
Please can I know you now.
Posted by: Suz | March 15, 2013 at 09:29 PM
Please remember I'm a mom too
Posted by: Dolores | March 15, 2013 at 09:54 PM
Adoption separates children from their families
Posted by: K-6714 | March 15, 2013 at 10:11 PM
birthadoptee violated my right to adopt
Posted by: Gertmcqueen | March 16, 2013 at 07:24 AM
Don't keep our identities a secret!
Posted by: Laura Schwartz | March 16, 2013 at 09:32 AM
RIGHT to adopt??? No such thing!
Posted by: Laura Schwartz | March 16, 2013 at 09:33 AM
My life rocks! Thank you, moms!
Posted by: Ellie | March 16, 2013 at 09:52 AM
Still struggling to claim my story.
Posted by: yan | March 16, 2013 at 10:04 AM
Terrified and alone, I gave up.
Posted by: Eileen | March 16, 2013 at 10:11 AM
Some days I want to die-
how are those six words? No, I am not suicidal, but some times the pain is so great, that at least if I were dead it would be over.
Posted by: Maryreunited | March 16, 2013 at 11:07 AM
As If there were roots. Ingrown.
Posted by: Angela Gee | March 16, 2013 at 11:41 AM
I hold you with me always.
Posted by: Anonymous Please | March 16, 2013 at 12:36 PM
Even reunion can't heal the loss
Posted by: Susie | March 16, 2013 at 04:05 PM
My WHOLE self forever, tragically lost.
Over controlling laws ignore human rights.
Posted by: marie | March 16, 2013 at 06:26 PM
Peace, Love, Hope, Joy, intensionally ours.
Posted by: Karen | March 16, 2013 at 07:06 PM
Birthed Love, Gave Love, Found Love. Lucky.
(I know it's 7)
Posted by: T. | March 16, 2013 at 07:13 PM
Hard to be his mother after.
Posted by: Denise | March 17, 2013 at 01:43 AM
Leave your god out of it.
Posted by: Stephanie | March 17, 2013 at 09:08 AM
Leave your god out of it.
Posted by: Stephanie | March 17, 2013 at 09:10 AM
it killed me to surrender her
I lost her then I died
one mother one daughter one love
fear shame surrender grief reunion love
never one day without her memory
where is she how is she?
where was my courage back then?
how is one girl so splendid?
those memories are still so painful.
I'll never recover from losing her
Posted by: katrina | March 17, 2013 at 11:32 AM
Three countries,
Three families,
forever united.....
Also,
In their eyes, I glimpse another's.....
Posted by: Lisa | March 17, 2013 at 12:54 PM
Seeking meaning to my adoption journey
Posted by: Prema | March 17, 2013 at 06:53 PM
Conceived in my heart, much sweeter
You are MY OWN, not substitution
You rescued ME, not the opposite
Your losses haunt, hurt me also
You aren't alone in your pain
My love doesn't make memories disappear
My love and support are yours
I can't erase your tragic past
Trying everything to help you heal
Love you beyond measure, to infinity
Ok, so that's more than 6 words, but each 6 word line can stand on its own with respect to my feelings about my daughter and our adoption of her.
Posted by: PapayaJambalaya | March 18, 2013 at 09:53 AM
Abandoned ~ Rejected: Saved ~ Redeemed: Hope Heals
Posted by: Tara Bradford | March 18, 2013 at 10:29 AM
Dis-empowered ambivalence in love's healing presence.
Participating in an open adoption as a birthfather is a strange business.
Posted by: I_am | March 18, 2013 at 11:29 AM
Adopters: Check entitlement at the door.
Posted by: Margie | March 18, 2013 at 01:29 PM
A huge thanks to everyone who submitted their 6-words. Thank you so much.
Posted by: JaeRan | March 18, 2013 at 03:11 PM
Thankful my birthmother was brave enough.
Posted by: HAS | March 18, 2013 at 03:14 PM
Still angry after all these years.
Posted by: Kate | March 18, 2013 at 11:52 PM
I grow angrier after research, denial
Posted by: Trace15 | March 22, 2013 at 10:26 AM
Thanks to everyone who contributed to the #6wordadoption here and on Twitter. Everyone's submissions were so profoundly resonant and I thought gave so much breadth to the adoption experience.
Posted by: JaeRan | March 26, 2013 at 09:52 AM
His pain is my pain always
Posted by: Janis C | March 29, 2013 at 01:03 PM
I was given a better life
Posted by: Korean adoptee | April 04, 2013 at 09:41 PM
Everyone ashamed of who you are.
Posted by: Taiwan adoptee | April 24, 2013 at 09:02 PM
Never consented to lie for yo~u
Posted by: Sarah | May 11, 2013 at 07:41 PM